The Orange Pants

I would like to speak, for a moment, about Ryan's orange pants.

I love Ryan's orange pants. That, basically, sums it up.

Ryan's orange pants are orange. They look rather ridiculous. But they are highly functional; they dry quickly, they zip off into shorts, they have zippered pockets, and other superb features. On our trip, he brought two pairs of pants: snow pants, and these sexy orange pants.

But I have only touched on why I love Ryan's orange pants so very much. Ah, let me count the ways:

1) They actually belong to Spencer.
This, perhaps, is the greatest reason of all. Not only are these Ryan's main pair of pants for our trip, they are not actually his. They belong to Spencer, as do the pants I wear (not orange). They serve as a reminder of all of Spencer's charity which enabled us to go on this trip. But moreso, they serve as a reminder of the zaniness of Spencer and the zaniness of the life Ryan lives, a life in which he is sometimes forced to wear other people's zany orange pants.

2) They are orange.
I believe this one is self-explanatory.

3) They are silly looking.
I'm not saying Ryan is vain. I'm not saying he is concerned with his own appearance. In truth, I have a lot of respect for Ryan and his battles with a more vain, former self. However, it is to my neverending glee to witness the face of slight shame and extreme annoyance every time I mention the sexiness of his orange pants.

4) He can't get rid of them.
For weeks upon weeks now, he's searched for an alternative. Any pants he could hike in (only a fool hikes in jeans), that were not these orange pants. But the date of departure arrived, and still, nothing but those sexy orange pants. Today, we went into a used clothing store to see if they had a pair of Dickies (questionable hiking apparal, but better than jeans nonetheless) in his size. They did have a pair. Only one pair. A pair in bright, stunning, orange.

The sexy orange pants live on. Hurrah!